If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
