uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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