glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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