How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
is wine microwaveable?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize