i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
