vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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