i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
