forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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