I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
