The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
