No, you can still breathe under the balls.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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