think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
