Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We got so high we made milksteak
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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