The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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