she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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