Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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