You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
