As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
