I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
