do herpes really smell.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Randomize
