funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
