I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
