Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
