he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
only you would photoshop your dick
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
