one two three fourrrrnication!
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
