my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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