I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
