I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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