Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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