wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
