your thong is hanging out like whoa
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
