In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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