new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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