It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
