Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
