I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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