living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
