Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm passing your future prison.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
