dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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