I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
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