no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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