..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
