I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
