Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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