We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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