I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
