We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
