i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
