After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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