Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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