going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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