I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
how drunk are you?
Several
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize