I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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