My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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