I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
