Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
My balls are so social today.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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