Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
