I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
