I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize