too bad you live with your parents still
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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